For many years, I have been on a journey looking for love. I found love, just not the kind of love I have been searching for. I felt like something is missing in my life. I thought that the validation and appreciation from other people would fill in the void inside me. It turns out I was wrong. I was so desperate to be in a relationship just to know the meaning of love. Instead of being in love with the person, I fell in love with myself. I did not find the person to spend the rest of my life with. I found the best thing, I found me. I learned who I am, what I want, and what I need. I found peace within me. I thought that having a relationship with someone would complete me, but the only relationship that I needed the most is with myself.
I realised that the relationship with myself is the most important thing and that I should focus on my happiness and well being before I focus on someone else’s life.
“There is a purpose for everyone you meet. Some people will test you, some will use you, some will bring out the best in you, but everyone will teach you something about yourself. Both positive and negative relationships teach you valuable lessons. This is an incredible step toward expanding your consciousness. The road to self-discovery requires help from others. As humans we are always seeking feedback and approval from others. That is how we learn and become better as individuals. No relationship is a waste of time. The wrong ones teach you the lessons that prepare you for the right ones. Appreciate everyone that enters your life because they are contributing to your growth and happiness.”
I was in a toxic relationship which made me lowered my standard and values. I thought that relationship is the key to everything. Because of it I learned my true worth. The best thing that I did was to get out from a toxic relationship where there are no growth and future. It was a major breakthrough for me to know my worth and how to love myself more. It showed me what kind of love I deserve and the value of self-love. It was a difficult process for me, but I’m glad I made it. I’m so happy I didn't settle for anything less. I’m so proud of myself for choosing what is the best for me.
What is self-love to you?
Self-love comes in different ways. One way to show self-love is by learning how to respect and forgive ourselves. We can’t give love to someone if we don’t know how to respect and forgive ourselves. Another way is to pursue what makes us happy and fulfilled regardless of what other people are saying. We have to put our happiness and well-being before others.
There are a lot of ways to show self-love to ourselves. We need to learn how to accept our flaws (pimples, dark under eyes, etc.) I know how difficult it is to accept flaws. Everyday is a constant battle within ourselves. Everyday is looking at the mirror and saying to yourself that, “I am worthy. I am love. I am beautiful.” It is a long journey, but we need to start somewhere. We need to learn how to look beyond what our eyes can see. We need to accept our failures and past mistakes in order for us to grow. We need to set aside our limiting beliefs and focus on finding ourselves through self-discovery. We first need to put our happiness and well-being before others.
Love doesn’t mean to be in a relationship with someone. It means that we know our value and we don’t let others disrespect, mistreat, and abuse our kindness. Before we learn how to love someone, we need to learn how to give love to ourselves.
Love comes in different ways, but it starts within ourselves. Join me and other inspirational women as we shared our most vulnerable version of our journey to self-love.
“Every time I take time for myself is a kind of big step when it comes to actions to self-love. I think it is important to learn to spend time alone and enjoy yourself during the process. It was a journey for me to like spending and enjoying time with myself. You have to know yourself, love yourself, have goals and know when to rest. Self-love for me is also care for my environment because I am happy when people around me are happy. Harmony is also very important for me.
You are going to live this whole life as the person you are, so it would be a good idea to get to know yourself and fall in love with this beautiful, resilient and authentic being you are. You with your perfect imperfection are unique and amazing!”
“Self-love means to love yourself unconditionally. It doesn’t mean I have to love myself 150% all the time, because that’s exhausting. But it means creating and holding space for myself for that love to exist. I love myself by being patient with myself, cheering myself on, allowing myself to feel whatever I feel in the moment, and most importantly, looking inward (instead of outward for outside validation). Self-love, to me, means loving myself without anyone else’s approval or validation.
It takes work, time, and you actually showing up for yourself.
We live in a society that doesn’t really support self-love, but instead tells you that you have to do and be x, y, and z in order for you to love yourself.
Self-love can almost feel like “going against the grain” sometimes, but I also want to say that it is so worth it. Learn to love yourself, because you are so worth it.
We are all worthy of our own love.”
♫ I am beautiful, no matter what they say, words can’t bring me down ♫
“Most of you, if not all, probably know this song. And it might seem cheesy, but it’s my first thought when I think about self-love. It’s pretty self-explanatory. You are beautiful, inside and out, and nobody can tell you otherwise.
I can’t lie though; I definitely have had a lot of times where I am mean to myself. Saying bad things such as how I don’t like my hair or my face in general. It happens, it’s normal. But I step back and reaffirm myself that just because I don’t have Eurocentric features that are usually what a lot of people consider beautiful nowadays, doesn’t mean I am not. I am myself, and no one else. I am unique, and that is what makes me just as beautiful as the others. Stop worrying. Worry causes stress, stress causes breakouts, and ain’t nobody got time for that. Haha! But seriously, I know it is hard. I’ve been there, still kind of am, but the only obstacle you have with truly loving yourself, is you.
Always remember, you are braver than you know. Stronger than you seem. Smarter than you think. More beautiful than you see, and loved more than you know.”
“Self Love to me is being able to show you care for your heart, body, mind & soul. Treating it with compassion & understanding. I show myself by taking care of my health, mind and body daily through whole food capsules, movement, writing, and just something as little as washing my face and drinking cold water.
It all begins in the mind if your mindset is fixed & closed, you will never get to where you want to be in loving yourself let alone your life. Be willing to truly open up your mind, as in the way you think about things and others. If you can’t love and respect you, no one else can.”
“Self-love is having compassion for your imperfections. It is taking the time each day to recognize your greatness and let go of your flaws. It is challenging those negative thoughts that criticize your every move and allow your soul self to be the loudest voice in the room.
My advice is to give your self a break. Don’t expect yourself to be perfect at self-care because that's not the point. When you are trying to figure out how to practice self-care think about what makes you feel relieved and lightened. Do something just for you. If that means saying no to a dinner party that night because you just want to go home and watch TV then do it! If that means getting a pedicure then do it. Or if that means making your favorite meal then go for it. Self-care is apart of our daily lives. When we identify it and bring that intention with us into the day we are able to more easily recognize the good in the day.”
“I struggled a lot with self love growing up as a kid and I still do sometimes. We are perfect, but sometimes my thoughts get the best of me. I recently found that without self-love it was really hard for others to believe I loved them as much as I did. Self-love to me means looking at myself and seeing passed my body. I have a good heart and I know that alone is enough to show that beauty is more than skin deep. Self love is looking at all your “flaws” and saying screw this I’m PERFECT with them.
Self-love to me was so hard to figure out, it took a lot of pain and heartache to find it, so my advice to girls is to stop comparing yourself to what you believe if beautiful and try looking within to see that beauty is in you. Beauty is in your imperfections and beautiful is in your character. If you have a good heart and soul, then my girls you are achieving so much without even realizing it. So, to the girls struggling, go easy on yourself and know that no one is perfect. We are all fighting some battle within ourselves , so stay strong and always say positive things about yourself. What you feed your thoughts will become your reality.”
“Self-love to me means so many different things. It’s going through the Taco Bell drive-thru, curling up in a blanket with pajamas on and watching a good show, lighting a candle after a stressful day, or even buying all the coffee to make it through the day. Showing yourself love is so important. So many times, we pour into other people’s lives and it’s so important to also pour into our own lives. We can’t be our best selves for others if were pouring from an empty cup. It’s important to take time to unwind.
it’s okay to have bad days and feel like you’re not good enough. We all feel that way. I feel constant failure and anxiety every day, and that’s something that I continue to struggle with. Just try not to stay stuck in those emotions. Try to love yourself better and be kinder to yourself. Don’t beat yourself up about things that are so little in the grand scheme of things.”
“Self-love means loving every part of you, even the insecurities and imperfections. It means understanding your weaknesses and being okay with that. It means loving where you are and continuing to improve yourself to be better.
I practice self-love by speaking positive affirmations every morning. I also consume lots of self-help books/podcasts, create a positive space around me, eat healthy, and take care of my body.
You are always the priority. No excuses. You need to love and take care of yourself first so you can love and care for others. There’s nothing selfish about that. Only when you love yourself can you truly transform and live your dream life. Remember, it’s always a progress so just take it one step at a time.”
Each of us has our own definition of self-love. Each of us has our own unique journey of self-love. Each of us has been through a lot of hardships. If you are a daughter, sister, or a mother you should know that you are beautiful, worthy and loved. It doesn’t matter which background you came from, the only thing matters is that you believe, respect and love yourself. And you focus on what makes you happy and what lights you up.
In order for us to get the dream life, career and partner we’ve always wanted we need to take care of ourselves. Just remember that we can’t pour from an empty cup.
Thank you for reading this. I hope it brightens your day and it inspires you. You are amazing and nobody can’t tell you that you don’t have what it takes to be successful or you’re not beautiful. We don’t have time for any negativity. This 2019 make it your intention to focus on your growth and happiness.